I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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