The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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