And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
