I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
