have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
