Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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