At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
