Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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