We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
