Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
