your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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