Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
