I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize