guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
