Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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