just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
