This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
