??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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