Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
