But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
