Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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