so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
