Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
