margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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