i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
