SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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