I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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