it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
