Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The best revenge is premature balding
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
