what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So. Much. Porn.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
