Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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