You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
