I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
