Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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