Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
