he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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