new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
