Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
