Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize