The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
