So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
