Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize