AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
