I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
