he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize