And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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