Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
