the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
