They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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