Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
