Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
