Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Holy shit dude........stairs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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