Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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