Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
