The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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