remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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