we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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