What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
