she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
