I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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